the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize