Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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