Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I want her autograph on my taint
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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