we're blogging at a bar
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
