I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
