im having a threesome with these popsicles
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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