who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
that is very illegal...i love you.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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