i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
