lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He? As in you personified your dick?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
