I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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