george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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