Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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