You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
