"it" just moved
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
