Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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