They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
