I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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