You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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