Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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