i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
