toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
