I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
