you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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