hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
