i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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