i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
