I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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