I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
