Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
