my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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