if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
