addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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