just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
