there's paper in my vomit.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
