Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
