I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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