i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
