Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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