Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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