What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
