I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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