I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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