i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
