just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm way too hungover for life right now
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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