i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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