grandma shit on top of the toilet
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
