come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
