writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize