a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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