i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
