yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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