Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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