a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I supernannyed him into submission
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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