We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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