When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So much Jack, so little girl.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
