I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
