where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
