i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize
