'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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