When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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