whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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